its been a long time since i wrote something here. living as a student has been a life-changing experience for me. its hard at first but i am trying my best to get use to it.
ive got elc for today's class and my lira 3 is 'make a difference' and that video totally make me realized a certain things.
my mom once told me before that after my dad died, my brother had been acting different because lets face it, as an 8 y/o girl, what the hell did i know about dying? but my brother was old enough to understand it and the fact that our dad is gone totally hit him. he was a bright and still is. but at that time,hes like building a wall around himself.
im not afraid to admit that ive never had the kind of relationship that others have with their siblings with him. i used to be afraid of him, like literally afraid of him. he scared the living crap out of me. and i only met him a couple of times only since he was living in the hostel for years.
but after spm, you can totally see the difference, that he started to open up. starts to give a shit about us, his siblings. it does make me feel happy because for the first time, i was like 'oh, this is what it felt like to have a caring big bro,' and the fact that i have those thoughts in my head makes me cry for a while. because thats my life, thats the life ive been living. and the fact that he cared and he started t joke around with me, that makes me fucking happy. the little things that he done makes me feel warm deep inside.
the reason that i can relates with the 'make a difference' vid is that ive keep imagining my bro when i understands the vid. he has come a long way to become what he is today. and im really grateful for it.