doubt

never doubt what Allah got in the store for you
it might seems like its nothing, but it something.
I once thought that Allah fucked me over.
I'm a strong girl. I know that. and I stand by that.
but sometimes I just wanna be weak.
I know now that He is really the Almighty.
but
I used to wonder;
I pray, I read the quran, du'a past solah
and still I've got meh results
I saw others who did no such things but still got excellent result
It wasn't fair
but I keep it all to myself
I pray that Allah put me in the univ that I wants
He gave me the one that I despise the most
I cried bcs of petty things I know
but those petty things gonna construct how my life will be
and I was beyond disappointed, I was devastated
little did I know
He got better thing planned for me
and MasyaAllah. Alhamdulillah.

trying

I've tried sooooo hard but it's never enough
it came to a point that I've thought to myself
why keep on trying if everything is gonna end up not working out anyway?
people say
if you're thinking of giving up, think about the reason why you hold on in the first place?
but
what about if the thing holding me back from giving up is not there anymore? gone. poof just like that.
then what?
why keep on working on something that's meant to be a dead end?