Aku baru baca Nadia Khan's Kelabu.
It's really kelabu y'know?
And the ending is sooooo tergantung tak bertali as the writer said in her Cerpen that the ending dia bagi her readers yg decide. Make yr own ending, then.
But, the story is so amazing, y'know. How a woman can have interest w her own kinds. Frankly speaking, I have multiple emotions 'bout the guy at the door when Amir opened it. I hope it's Shah that wanted to prove to her that he still have feelings for her. He loves her for a such a loooooooooong time and to think that he just let it go without knowing the truth about Amir, it's so sad. She's finally deciding to become Amira, her true nature. And there's Amran, the so called shrink. The new guy in her new world. He helped her gaining the new 'Amir'. And they spent so much time together. When Amir told him that Shah is back in the town, Amran suggested that Shah's the one for Amir and he asked her to forget about the new guy. The new guy's basically Amran to begin with. That's sooooo unfair for Amran. Half of me am hoping that the guy at the door is Shah because he waited for so damn long for the moment when Amir sees him as a guy, a normal guy with a feelings. Not just as a best friend. The other half is just hoping that it will be Amran as he's so nice and he got some charms that make other people comfortable w him.
It's so confusing yet such a good reading material. Kelabu is totally recommended to those who want to see the world through a different eyes.

"I changed my mind,"

I miss the good old days, y'know?
When I can just barge up into someone.
Sending text nonstop and acts as if I'm texting with my bae.
Not to forget, Facebook.
Where I can just write something silly, talks about things; our things, spending our time with our own private group, spamming each other.
The good words, the guidance, laughs and tears.
Yes, I miss it. I really do. From the deepest of my heart.

I'm not feeling awkward calling them my family eventhou we have no blood ties.

My weird family...

A new journey

Assalamualaikum.
Ya Allah. It has been ages since aku write something here. Hahaha.
Now, SPM pun dah say byebye dekat aku. Yeahhh. Not doing anything actually. Trying to plan something with my friends but none of it work out the way we planned it. Yeahh, life's sucks. Knew it.
Sometimes aku fed up dengan life ni. Aku tahu aku tak patut fikir macam tu. But, it manusia's minds kan? Mana boleh kawal. Tindakan luar kawal okeh? Sila lempang lelaju. Heee.
Okehh. What's new about me is that now I'm not a school kids anymore. That means next year tak dapat bantuan 100 ringgit tu lagi. Hesyyy. Back to the main topic. Now, aku ada instax. A yellow instax mini8 yang aku bagi nama Eric sebab aku rasa Eric Nam tu cute sangaaat. Haha. Apa lagi eh? Takde lagi kut.
Saja mention, just now aku terfikir yang aku nak travel sesorang. Buat sendirian berhad punya destinasi bajet. Yang lawaknya ku terfikir mende ni masa tengah dalam bathroom. Okehh. Enouhh for the details. But I have one crucial problem. Try nak convince ma aku whether dia accept ke idok plan gilo anak dia ni. Haha. First place aku nak pergi is Muar. Sebab dah ages tak balik kampung. Quite weird ah nak rasa situ kampung as aku rasa dekat 8-9 tahun aku tak balik sana.
It has been my dream to travel alone, buat suka hati je kan? Ni penangan aku tengok Walter Mitty lah ni.
To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind the walls, to draw closer, to find each other and to feel. That's the purpose of life.

Susah gila kut. K, memang dah berjanggut aku tak update blog. Haha. Awkward laughs disitu. Ya Allah, aku sedih gila tadi. Pasaipa? Ceq fail addmath! Memang masa jalan kaki tu aku rasa nak menangis je. Sumpah! Ya Allah, memang aku tak kuat. Aku frust, aku sedih. Semua yg boleh buat aku depressed, aku rasa time tu. Macam berat gilaaaaa!
With my moody self tu pun, tadi ma aku terhilangkan car key and supposed aku yang akhir guna tapi tak jumpa. Punyalah aku cari bagai nak gila dengan mixed emotions. Dengan rasa nak menangis, feeling macam aku ni loser gila, feeling aku ni malang lah, itulah inilah. Tapi aku cari jugak. Tapi tak jumpa! Memang nak nangis. Then, ma aku pun jumpa and cakap tadi dia ambil and then lupa. Kau tau apa jadi kat aku? Aku menangis tau tak?!!! Dengan mood aku yang memang down~~~ and with that thing happenned, siapa yng boleh tahan? Memang aku menangis je. Setitik demi setitik jatuh. I really need someone at that time tapi takkan lah aku nak terjah je kan? Aku ingat nak call some of my friends tapi baca status depa macam depa ada probs je. So, I just let go. And menangis sorang-sorang.
Its just a piece of paper,
And fail is just a matter of grade,
It maybe become a source of others' laughter,
Or maybe a joke in parade.
But thats it!
Im not strong!!!