Susah gila kut. K, memang dah berjanggut aku tak update blog. Haha. Awkward laughs disitu. Ya Allah, aku sedih gila tadi. Pasaipa? Ceq fail addmath! Memang masa jalan kaki tu aku rasa nak menangis je. Sumpah! Ya Allah, memang aku tak kuat. Aku frust, aku sedih. Semua yg boleh buat aku depressed, aku rasa time tu. Macam berat gilaaaaa!
With my moody self tu pun, tadi ma aku terhilangkan car key and supposed aku yang akhir guna tapi tak jumpa. Punyalah aku cari bagai nak gila dengan mixed emotions. Dengan rasa nak menangis, feeling macam aku ni loser gila, feeling aku ni malang lah, itulah inilah. Tapi aku cari jugak. Tapi tak jumpa! Memang nak nangis. Then, ma aku pun jumpa and cakap tadi dia ambil and then lupa. Kau tau apa jadi kat aku? Aku menangis tau tak?!!! Dengan mood aku yang memang down~~~ and with that thing happenned, siapa yng boleh tahan? Memang aku menangis je. Setitik demi setitik jatuh. I really need someone at that time tapi takkan lah aku nak terjah je kan? Aku ingat nak call some of my friends tapi baca status depa macam depa ada probs je. So, I just let go. And menangis sorang-sorang.
Its just a piece of paper,
And fail is just a matter of grade,
It maybe become a source of others' laughter,
Or maybe a joke in parade.
But thats it!
Im not strong!!!

You're such a good guy. Seriously.

Me and my obsession

keeps telling myself to stop the survey on cameras. but, it's just getting so much.. urgh. interesting? there were like so many oldies that was so damn attractive that use films, which is so hard to find nowadays. then, I found the instant cameras! over and over and over and over again. I mean like, it drive me craaaaaaaaazyyyyyy! I don't know if you know what I'm talkin bout right now. But yeah. These things makes me go mad over them. They were so damn.. urghh! Fantastic? I don't know how to explain but,... yeahhh. It gives me different feelings. I feels so... glad, maybe? Glad that I dicover these.
but, I want to find this one little camera. the one that Tsukasa use in Kamen Rider Decade. The pinky one. If you want to snap some pictures you just need to press that thing beside it. And the size of the camera is just perfect. About Tsukasa, because of him, I am kinda into these kind of things. So, its like it his fault in the first place. He spread the virus, y'know?

p/s: actually my fav are Polaroid Z2300 and Instax Mini 7s Panda. I plan to buy the instax for the time being and maybe I'll buy the polaroid after the espiem. But the again, I heard that BBW will be held again. Are they tryin' to make me become money-less or what? Seriously.

#fact

Its a fact about me, I guess.
My ultimate fandom is ELF. And my ultimate bias is Super Junior.
That's why I heart SuJu till the end. Since when aku minat depa? I don't even know when, but I think I just did.
the best thing in fangirling is bila kau boleh bezakan suara'2 oppa'2 kau.
Aku just boleh bezakan Super Junior je. From Leeteuk to Kyuhyun. Never to other groups. Seriously. That's why I heart SuJu the most, I guess.
Haha.

Just a nukilan

Life. Things. They happens everyday. That's life. Kalau kau expect semua benda jadi macam apa yg kau plan, that's bullshit man. Kalau kau boleh expect thing happens, better tak payah hidup weh. No challenge. No fun. No new things to be discover. Life is a term of studying as well. Kau belajar daripada kehidupan. Daripada kejayaan kau, kegagalan kau. Kau belajar benda baru yg kau takkan pernah jumpa dekat dalam buku teks tu. Kalau kau boleh expect any possible things yg akan terjadi and how to react with that situation, that's funny. Life is unexpected. Things happened, and kau kena face up jugak that situation. Kita tak belajar dekat sekolah pasal real world out there. Kalau ada guide utk show us how to control that kind of situation, aku rasa baik tak payah hidup je weh. Kalau takat hidup macam robot. React to what we learns from the guide. And you think that is the right thing to do even thou its not. Seriously man. Kau ni bobdoh ke pe? Kalau kau expect everyday will be the same as yesterday, you are so damn wrong. Everyday is a different day. Kau rasa semua sama, but bila kau kenang balik, there will be a slightly tiny little different between them. Cmon man. You can't conclude that little different make the same situation. Am I right?
Yes. Dalam hidup, all kind of things happen. Benda yg buat kau happy sampai nak menari Bar Bar Bar Bar. Benda yg buat kau sedih sampai rasa tanak hidup lagi. Tapi, hidup kena teruskan. Kalau kau decide utk give up dlm certain situations, that's mean kau mengalah dgn ujian. Kau tanak try utk fight, utk terima ujian tu. Kau rasa kau alone. Takde anyone around kau. But, you got your friends, family and even the almighty, Allah. and remember, even if satu dunia ni againts kau, kau ada Tuhan. Allah akan selalu ada utk hambanya. Susah senang, Dia ada. Dalam setiap langkah kita, dlm setiap coretan hidup kita. So, jangan pernah fikir kau sorang je dlm dunia ni. Takde anyone. Friends, family ignore kau. Tapi kau masih ada Allah.
Akhir kata, live your life to the fullest, do something that you don't want to regret later. And yeahh.. hadapi setiap cabaran dlm hidup ni, fight for your life.
That's all from me.
Assalamualaikum.
Sunday's night. 24th of November. 23:30.

Ramdomness

Just something yang masuk dalam kepala ni masa aku tengah marah tadi. Kang kalau aku update pasal menda tu, korang dapat dosa, aku pun sama jugak. Aku kalau marah, memang bad words memanjang. Aku tulis, then korang baca. Memang sama'2 dapat hadiah lah citer dia. :D so, this is it. sikit je moment from Nash and Chemm. I don't know why. But, I kinda like it if Chemm-Nash is real. Haha. I'm the writer thou. So, it's kinda weird saying this. Bear me, dudes.

"Nash, beragak lah weh kau nak blah macam tu je. Tunggulah aku ni."
"Ah kau. Kau tatau ke buku teks ni berkilo-kilo gram? Then, kau nak suruh aku tunggu? Sorry sikit." Nash masih meneruskan langkah.
"Ish kau ni. Tunggu je lah. Kata bestprenggg. Bestprenggg apa macam ni?"
"Bukan kau nak bawakkan pun buku teks aku ni kalau aku dengar cakap kau."
"Memang idaklah aku nak bawak buku kau. Aku nak bawak buku aku ni pun dah macam hape tah feeling dia." Chemm mengelap peluhnya. Even BOSS tu fully aircond, tapi bila manusia dalam tu full like a tin sardin, memang tak bernafas citer dia.
"K, how about we play game?"
"Game?"
"Yep. Ohsom jom."
"Denda dia?"
"Yang kalah kena bawak buku teks yang menang tu punya sekali sampai balik kelas."
"Call!"
***
"Aik Nash. Awat kau happy je?" Shaq pandang Nash semacam.
"Tah, bukan tadi turn korang ambik buku ke? Aku ambik semalam, horrible gila. Dengan panasnya, then beratnya lagi. Seksa woiiii!" Tirana pandang Nash semacam, tapi Nash just senyum.
"Ha. Kau ni Chemm. Awat senyap pulak? Muka pun penat semacam je." Chemm angkat sikit je kepalanya pandang Arif.
"Memanglah. Cuba teka siapa kalah oh som and kena bawak buku teks the winnerl?" Nash senyum bangga.
"Err. Chemm?"
"Ya betulll! Tahniah Tir for getting it right." Tirana buat troll face. Like seriously.
Chemm yang jalan dekat belakang gegadis ayuuuuu tu just senyum je. Arif and Shaq yang jalan sebalah dia dah buat muka.
"Seriously dude. Kau buat lagi?" Shaq bisik.
"Buat apa?" Chemm buat-buat tak paham, masih dalam mode bisik.
"Semua orang tahu kalau kau lawan ohsom dengan Nash, kau comfirm akan buat air." Arif pun masuk mode bisik.
"Salah dia, dia yang asyik buat burung je." Selamba, tetapi dua kepala disebelahnya itu memandang si tukang kerja dengan pandangan yang tidak mudah ditafsirkan.

Sambungan. Going to sleep already. This is going to be a big reverse for Nash's friends.

"Shaq, nak tu!"
"Menda?"
"Tu! Telur! Aku nak telur!"
"Banyak songeh lah kau ni. Kau kan ada tu."
"Shaq...." baby besar sudah keluar.
"Mintak kat Tir."
"Tir?"
"No. No. No. Aku nak!"
"Chemm?"
"Ahhh! Takde-takde. Mana sedap nasi lemak takde telur."
"Shaq, depa tanak bagi."
"Ish. Kau ni. Nah ambik!" Laju je telur yang ada dekat pinggan Shaq berpindah ke pinggan Arif.
"Heeee~ Thanks Shaq. Tu pasai aku sayang gila-gila-gila dekat kau!" Shaq buat muka.
"Shatap youuu! Nyampah aku dengar."
"Korang ni tak habis-habis nak bromance. Geli aku!" Tirana menghirup hot choc miliknya.
"Minah jelly memang cemtu citer dia." Arif menjawab laju. Shaq cuma menggeleng, tak kuasa nak menyampuk.
"Aku? Jelly? Sorry sikit! Tak ada dalam kamus hidup aku nak jelly bagai. Eh. Korang tau tak apa yang tak kena dengan Nash tu? Dia dah lain lah weh sekarang ni."
"Lain pebendanya? Biasa je aku tengok." Arif pandang Shaq. Mintak explanation gamaknya.
"Kau tak nampak ke yang Nash jarang hang ngan kita sekarang ni?" Arif angguk tanda setuju.
"Chemm, dia tak cakap pape kat kau?"
"Nope, nothing. Tir, since mamat Iman tu masuk sini. Dia terus lain. Like a completely different person."
"Err.. aku rasa maybe korang terkejut. But aku ada something nak cerita pasal budak Iman tu."
"Cerita pasal apa pulok kau ni, Arif oi?"
"Tak, haritu aku merayau saja-saja je. Then, aku nampak Nash ngan budak tu."
"Then?" Hampir serentak Shaq, Tirana dan Chemm bertanya.
"Aku nampak Iman macam marah dekat Nash. Or maybe the other way around. Sebab dua-dua nampak marah time tu. Aku tak dapat nak dengar sangat, so aku cari port yang aku boleh dengar clearly."
Senyap. Tak ada satu suara pun yang menyampuk umpama memberi peluang Arif menghabiskan ceritanya.
"I'm not sure telinga aku yang ada problem ke pe kan? Tapi lepas aku dengar betul-betul, Nash marah Iman. Marah yang gila-gila marah. Rupa-rupanya, Iman tu kawan Nash masa dekat dia punya previous school."
"Masuk akal jugak lah Nash care pasal dia. Ex-schoolmate kut." Shaq mengangguk tanda setuju dengan komen Tirana.
"Key, tang tu aku faham. Tapi asal Nash marah pulak?" Chemm pandang Arif semacam.
"Errr. Yang ni, aku pun terkejut.." Jeda.
"Pehal pulak?"
"Iman tu. Sebenarnya..."
"Sebenarnya...?"
"Sebenarnya dia tu.."
"Sebenarnya.. Sebenarnya.. Kau ni cakap sepatah-sepatah ni pehal?"
"Iman tu perempuan, bukan lelaki."
Tirana tersedak. Shaq membuntang. Pada mulanya, kedua-dua, Shaq dan Tirana tak kisah pun perbualan Arif dengan Chemm. Tapi tang Iman-tu-perempuan-bukan-lelaki, tu memang kena ambil tahu. Ingat ni Coffee Prince ke pe? Ke ingat ni To The Beautiful You punya shooting?