its 2016 already!
very surreal.
2015 taught me a lot of things and ive gained tons of new experience from it
first time for everything. first time mohon tu mohon ni, first time interview, first time lah nak experience what the fuck is the bloody independence duk tercampak kat utara nu ha. rasa lah nak kena belanja tu macam mana. nak berjimat bagai. seksa kut. first time kut merasa puasa sendiri even thou aku biasa puasa bukan buka ngan famili pun, feeling lah nak acah acah nyanyi balik kampung ooooo balik kampung bagai dalam bas tu, tup tup hamek kau! tertinggal bas. tu pun experience gak tu. nak balik kampung, nak beli tiket, comfirm sold out. last resort? balik kl lah gamaknya. dah balik dengan baneh, kak paten ngan lica. amik kat pudu. tu feeling balik kampung bebenor tu. dengan jammnya bagai. then, nak kena buat choices sendiri and be responsible with those choices. and I met a lot of new people. met some internet friends. Ivy and Raven yeahhhh!!! explore new things tu dah pasti ah.
2016, be good to me
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Sunday, December 20, 2015
2015 had been such a life-changing experience for me.
I've discovered a new part of myself.
I've found a bunch of good friends that I can call sisters.
I've changed my views on certain issues.
I'm not saying that it's been great, but it's not bad either.
Wishing for a better year next year and the years after that.
Peace.
I've discovered a new part of myself.
I've found a bunch of good friends that I can call sisters.
I've changed my views on certain issues.
I'm not saying that it's been great, but it's not bad either.
Wishing for a better year next year and the years after that.
Peace.
Friday, December 18, 2015
I might grows my crush back. idk man. maybe.
but ramai yang cakap, maybe sebab kau dah suka yr crush, kau tak ada angau dgn mana'2 boys.
idk man. idk. i am socially awkward, so idk. sometimes, in public, i doesnt even know what to talk about and i ended up shutting up. its not like i dont wanna talk, im feeling much comfortable staying silent. thats all. and kalau kau rasa aku ni jenis yg pendiam dgn kau, that means aku rasa awkward dengan kau. serious lah aku cakap. others cakap aku ni friendly, but..! aku cuma macam tu bila aku dah selesa dgn someone or im in need of a friend. serious ah. yguys will never see me shut up. i will talk nonstop. thats me.
back to the topic that ive been talking about, i think my love for dylan o'brien and other actors causes me to do that, i guess. i mean, yeah. i love him with all my heart. you can gimme the internet and ill live happily ever after.
cant you see? im not like other girls. i hate makeup, i curse all the time. i cried, i laughed, i acted like a retarded girl when i read fanfic. so, yeahhh. i dont give a fuck about what boys think of me bcs i know that its impossible for them to like me. so why waste my time crushing over them when i know about the ending? im not being pathetic, im being realistic. im thinking about spending my time wisely while knowing that im not wasting it just for fun. at least, by fangirling with those actors, i can save myself from those heartbreaks.
you know what im saying?
back to the topic that ive been talking about, i think my love for dylan o'brien and other actors causes me to do that, i guess. i mean, yeah. i love him with all my heart. you can gimme the internet and ill live happily ever after.
cant you see? im not like other girls. i hate makeup, i curse all the time. i cried, i laughed, i acted like a retarded girl when i read fanfic. so, yeahhh. i dont give a fuck about what boys think of me bcs i know that its impossible for them to like me. so why waste my time crushing over them when i know about the ending? im not being pathetic, im being realistic. im thinking about spending my time wisely while knowing that im not wasting it just for fun. at least, by fangirling with those actors, i can save myself from those heartbreaks.
you know what im saying?
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Thursday, December 10, 2015
don't take anything for granted
when i heard stories about what others regret the most when they lose someone in their lives, it got me thinking. real hard. and that my friend was hard to happen.
like, someone who is there today, theres no guarantee that theyll be there tomorrow.
jangan biarkan ada benda yang kau menyesal tak buat di kemudian hari sebab kau malu ke pe. menyesal tu lagi sakit weh. at least, kalau kau buat, bolah lah jugak sedapakan hati tu.
macam last post, where i posted the screenshot for the conversation between abang and i. weh. thats the first time kut aku cakap aku sayang kat dia directly. biasanya just mengaku kat mama je. ye. orang sayang abang. mama nehh. something like that lah. tapi tatau lah weh, dunia ni pun tatau lagi berapa lama lagi wujud, ajal maut tu semua bukan kita tahu pun, bukan boleh predict. sometimes, aku jealous gak ah dengan sesapa yang ada sakit tu. yang docs boleh letak due date dekat life dia. macam orang lain tahu yang dorang kena luahkan apa yang dorang rasa tu sebelum terlambat. kalau tetiba je meninggal, bukan lagi sakit ke weh? tak ready pun tetiba theyre gone. not around any longer. kalau sakit, sekurang2nya their loved ones boleh prepare themselves. aku sangat emotional weh. serious aku cakap. deaths hit me so hard!
to abang, aku sayang kau gila gila kut. kau je abang yang aku ada. yang annoying tu kau, yang protective tu kau, yang garang tu kau. tapi tu lah. kau tu kau. aku sayang kau kut. sayang gila gila gila sayang. tapi kita kan macam berlagak macho sikit. tak nak mengaku. kau kan memang cemtu. hahaha. aku benci kau kut masa aku kecik dulu, sebab kau garang gila. kau pun satu kecik kecik temper dah macam hape tah. cer lembut sikit ke pe. keje maki manjang. sedih tau tak jadi adik kau. masa masuk sekolah menengah, semua orang kata jealous sebab diorang ada kakak, takde abang. aku macam, celah mana nak jealous duh? aku ada kau, tapi kau asyik buat aku nangis je. mama cakap kau berubah bila ayah pergi, tapi agak lah bro, aku tau aku kecik tapi tu ayah aku jugak kut. aku rasa jugak weh. kita nangis sama2 kut depan vending machine dekat hospital kl tu. aku ada jugak kut masa doc tu kata ayah dah takde. aku nampak jugak kut berpuluh wayar pape tah yang ada dekat dada ayah tu. aku ada kay. aku tau aku kecik, tapi aku ingat kut. aku paham kay. and cuba kau bayang, aku yang kecik tu feeling dia camne? and kau marah marah aku. aku perempuan kut, hati lembut, air mata ni pulak macam air terjun aku cakap kat kau. tapi tu lah. orang cakap lelaki ni punya matang macam siput, nampak lah kau makin tua, makin okay.tah lah. dysfunctional betul lah weh. kau bagi wish aku exam pun dah hujan macam hape tah. aku memang tak boleh lah ngan kau ni. serious ah aku cakap, aku sayang kau. dah berapa kali ni aku cakap aku sayang kau neh? bersyukur k? bersyukur. heee. kau kan wali aku bila aku gatal nak kahwin nanti. takkan aku nak suruh ijam kut? kau kan abang, thats your job kut.
to adik, akak sayang kau jugak kut. aku ada kau dengan abang je kenit oi. kau lah kawan aku gaduh, kawan aku nangis, kawan aku main, kawan aku gelak. kau lah kawan aku dik. kau memang annoying kut. aku rasa gene kita ni memang banyak darah annoying kut. tapi aku bangga ah dengan kau. aku harap kau jadi hafiz dik. and aku harap kau dapat lah capai impian impian kau. satu benda yang aku takkan mengaku is, kau pandai lukis dik. agak talented lah. tak membazir lah kau beli komik beratus tu. heh. akak tatau ah nak tulis apa, idea aku dah banyak lari kat abang kut. blame him kay. tapi yang pasti, aku memang sayang kau gila gila gila. ingat tu!
and for mama, goshhh. this is to hard kut. mama, youre one hella of a fighter. i mean youre my iron lady and i love you so much. nothing can describe how much you meant to me. you taught me lots of thing and i love your jokes.
and i cant continue this people. mata aku dah hujan dah. lebat masa aku taip to abang tu ha. maybe aku akan buat entry for mama, later. im such a crybaby.
huh
lets just stop right here kay, i need more tissue.
kbye
when i heard stories about what others regret the most when they lose someone in their lives, it got me thinking. real hard. and that my friend was hard to happen.
like, someone who is there today, theres no guarantee that theyll be there tomorrow.
jangan biarkan ada benda yang kau menyesal tak buat di kemudian hari sebab kau malu ke pe. menyesal tu lagi sakit weh. at least, kalau kau buat, bolah lah jugak sedapakan hati tu.
macam last post, where i posted the screenshot for the conversation between abang and i. weh. thats the first time kut aku cakap aku sayang kat dia directly. biasanya just mengaku kat mama je. ye. orang sayang abang. mama nehh. something like that lah. tapi tatau lah weh, dunia ni pun tatau lagi berapa lama lagi wujud, ajal maut tu semua bukan kita tahu pun, bukan boleh predict. sometimes, aku jealous gak ah dengan sesapa yang ada sakit tu. yang docs boleh letak due date dekat life dia. macam orang lain tahu yang dorang kena luahkan apa yang dorang rasa tu sebelum terlambat. kalau tetiba je meninggal, bukan lagi sakit ke weh? tak ready pun tetiba theyre gone. not around any longer. kalau sakit, sekurang2nya their loved ones boleh prepare themselves. aku sangat emotional weh. serious aku cakap. deaths hit me so hard!
to abang, aku sayang kau gila gila kut. kau je abang yang aku ada. yang annoying tu kau, yang protective tu kau, yang garang tu kau. tapi tu lah. kau tu kau. aku sayang kau kut. sayang gila gila gila sayang. tapi kita kan macam berlagak macho sikit. tak nak mengaku. kau kan memang cemtu. hahaha. aku benci kau kut masa aku kecik dulu, sebab kau garang gila. kau pun satu kecik kecik temper dah macam hape tah. cer lembut sikit ke pe. keje maki manjang. sedih tau tak jadi adik kau. masa masuk sekolah menengah, semua orang kata jealous sebab diorang ada kakak, takde abang. aku macam, celah mana nak jealous duh? aku ada kau, tapi kau asyik buat aku nangis je. mama cakap kau berubah bila ayah pergi, tapi agak lah bro, aku tau aku kecik tapi tu ayah aku jugak kut. aku rasa jugak weh. kita nangis sama2 kut depan vending machine dekat hospital kl tu. aku ada jugak kut masa doc tu kata ayah dah takde. aku nampak jugak kut berpuluh wayar pape tah yang ada dekat dada ayah tu. aku ada kay. aku tau aku kecik, tapi aku ingat kut. aku paham kay. and cuba kau bayang, aku yang kecik tu feeling dia camne? and kau marah marah aku. aku perempuan kut, hati lembut, air mata ni pulak macam air terjun aku cakap kat kau. tapi tu lah. orang cakap lelaki ni punya matang macam siput, nampak lah kau makin tua, makin okay.tah lah. dysfunctional betul lah weh. kau bagi wish aku exam pun dah hujan macam hape tah. aku memang tak boleh lah ngan kau ni. serious ah aku cakap, aku sayang kau. dah berapa kali ni aku cakap aku sayang kau neh? bersyukur k? bersyukur. heee. kau kan wali aku bila aku gatal nak kahwin nanti. takkan aku nak suruh ijam kut? kau kan abang, thats your job kut.
to adik, akak sayang kau jugak kut. aku ada kau dengan abang je kenit oi. kau lah kawan aku gaduh, kawan aku nangis, kawan aku main, kawan aku gelak. kau lah kawan aku dik. kau memang annoying kut. aku rasa gene kita ni memang banyak darah annoying kut. tapi aku bangga ah dengan kau. aku harap kau jadi hafiz dik. and aku harap kau dapat lah capai impian impian kau. satu benda yang aku takkan mengaku is, kau pandai lukis dik. agak talented lah. tak membazir lah kau beli komik beratus tu. heh. akak tatau ah nak tulis apa, idea aku dah banyak lari kat abang kut. blame him kay. tapi yang pasti, aku memang sayang kau gila gila gila. ingat tu!
and for mama, goshhh. this is to hard kut. mama, youre one hella of a fighter. i mean youre my iron lady and i love you so much. nothing can describe how much you meant to me. you taught me lots of thing and i love your jokes.
and i cant continue this people. mata aku dah hujan dah. lebat masa aku taip to abang tu ha. maybe aku akan buat entry for mama, later. im such a crybaby.
huh
lets just stop right here kay, i need more tissue.
kbye
guys, aku ada baca tweets Adam dekat twitter pasal dia hilang two of the most important persons in his life. from leukimia and brain tumor.
beb. memang hit home kut. i cried even thou aku tak tahu pun dioang tu tapi taktau lah. aku sedih sangat. too many deaths okay.
and status aku for the past few days ni pun agak emo gak ah.
no. aku harap sangat yang abang aku takkan rasa that kind of kehilangan masa diroang muda ni. tak ada lah weh. they are brothers okay. i talked to my mum about this. and mama pun macam pelik asal pulak keluar nama abang kan? even aku tak nak mengaku, tapi aku envy their friendship okay. envy gila duh. and bila aku baca tweets Adam tu, tah lah weh. rasa sedih pulak.
ahhh! sangat sedih weh. and aku doa jugak moga Allah pinjamkan abang and adik kat aku lama sikit. aku tak rasa kut aku kuat nak hilang lagi satu tiang penting dalam hidup aku. which reminds aku. next year is 2016 people, it will be eleven years since Ayah left. Allah. it will be over a decade but the pains are still there. it hurts everytime. and sometimes remembering those happy moments. but luckily aku still ada bits by bits about him but adik is too small kut. and tah lah weh. deaths got me like this. ive got a tissue in my hand right now i tell you. its hard weh. taktau lah aku ni memang tak kuat kalau mende mende macam ni.
beb. memang hit home kut. i cried even thou aku tak tahu pun dioang tu tapi taktau lah. aku sedih sangat. too many deaths okay.
and status aku for the past few days ni pun agak emo gak ah.
no. aku harap sangat yang abang aku takkan rasa that kind of kehilangan masa diroang muda ni. tak ada lah weh. they are brothers okay. i talked to my mum about this. and mama pun macam pelik asal pulak keluar nama abang kan? even aku tak nak mengaku, tapi aku envy their friendship okay. envy gila duh. and bila aku baca tweets Adam tu, tah lah weh. rasa sedih pulak.
I AM HIS SIBS BY BLOOD BUT THEY ARE HIS BY BONDS
Allah, pinjamkan mama, abang, adik lama sikit please.
Monday, December 7, 2015
this day was eventful. i will tell you guys later if i wanna talk about it. just one thing for sure.
jangan mudah percaya dekat orang lain. even kau dah kenal 20 tahun pun, don't give 100% of your trust to that person.
and to adik adik yang akan go on to the world of independence, satu je nak cakap.. life kau kau sendiri yang kena take control tau. buat the right choice. jangan menyesal. memang lah life takkan happening kalau kau tak take chances. make the right choice okay. and jangan percaya kat orang. hati orang lain lain dik oi, aku tak nak korang rasa apa yang aku rasa, even baru kenal pun, still lah rasa fucked up okay. so, ingat okay. ingat.
DO NOT TRUST OTHERS EASILY
people are different colors okayjangan mudah percaya dekat orang lain. even kau dah kenal 20 tahun pun, don't give 100% of your trust to that person.
and to adik adik yang akan go on to the world of independence, satu je nak cakap.. life kau kau sendiri yang kena take control tau. buat the right choice. jangan menyesal. memang lah life takkan happening kalau kau tak take chances. make the right choice okay. and jangan percaya kat orang. hati orang lain lain dik oi, aku tak nak korang rasa apa yang aku rasa, even baru kenal pun, still lah rasa fucked up okay. so, ingat okay. ingat.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
this ma fanfic in the making.
“Stiles!”
“Scott. What do you want, bro?”
“Kira just asked me out. Like on a date. A real one!” Scott
got this dopey smile plastered on his face, like the Allison phase all over
again.
Stiles sighs, finally one of the two losers decided to end
his suffering of listening to Scott’s never ending love confessions and Malia’s
bitching about her best friend been pining over Scott. Thank God!
“Good for you, buddy. Good for you,” Stiles gave his best
friend the best encouraging smile that he can muster even though he knows it’s
pointless.
Who is he kidding? It’s Scott. It’ll be such a hard work to
get rid of that smile on his face. Hell! You can put Peter Hale doing a lap
dance in front of him, and Stiles can bet that his best friend won’t even
notice the zombie wolf.
He just got out of the school, on his way to his beloved
jeep when something catches his eyes. All of his tires, every single one of
them had a slash marks. Claw marks to be precise. From a werewolf to be more
than precise. Stiles clenched his teeth, and pull out his phone. He has to call
a soon to be furious sheriff dad when he heard a wolf whistle by his side. He
saw Erica and Boyd, but no Isaac. Maybe the scarf wolf is having a date with
Allison.
“Do you happen to know anyone who hate my guts so much that
he decided to sabotage my tires?” Stiles ask the couple but were meet by an
identical knowing smirks.
“I don’t know, batman. Maybe someone decided that you need
to hitchhike others today?” Erica leers.
“Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny. Both of you guys know something.
You guys got these evil smirks that only appeared when..,” Stiles stops, he
look at the couple, “Derek did it, didn’t he?”
and then it stuck!
idea, come to mama, babyyyy!
idek whats the main pairing, im thinking about sterek but idek now.
maybe i should write about them puking rainbows? or unicorn after stiles?
heyyaaaa people.
okay lama gila tak merepek kat sini. memang diabaikan kut blog kesayangan aku ni. muahahaha. don't wory, I love you, babyyyyy.
okayyyy...
sekarang tengah cuti sem lagi, so memang aku spend all my time with ma phone, lappy, and tempat beradu aku. ahahaha. no one can make me change my mind.
and of course lah kerja aku duk ber fanfiction and ao3. now, on my way to write a fanfic about sterek. say whatttt??!!! say yeah! but still,.. 300 words ++ only. doesn't get the idea to continue this. idea, come to mama babyyyy.
and also spend my time scrolling the tumblr, ig and twitter about my fav casts! teen wolf casts! ehem dylan. ehem my love. ehem ma baby. ehhhh. everyone yang pernah kenal dengan creature bernama nad ni comfirm tahu yang aku ni memang obses gilaaaaaaaa dengan DYLAN O'BRIEN. I LOVE THAT DORK SO MUCH! seriously. I know that he has a girlfriend. hello! britt is one of my fav actress ok. she's so cool and very carefree. and takde nak canang'2 about their relationship. i ship them with all the ships that can be ship. muahahaha.
speaking about dylan ehem. eyes full of hearts. masa aku tengok tst with one of ma bebis, memang aku tak boleh control ma emotions because suddenly dia ada dekat the big screen where i always watch him thru my tiny laptop screen. and when i can see his upturn nose, his cupid bow lips, his freckles, his moles, and his stupidly attractive eyes.did you know what that do to me. countless damage okay. and the movie is so fucking great that idek dude. i am so hung up with the storyline and me being a fangirl is not helping. at all. urghh. and i was shaking masa aku keluar from the theater like literally and physically shaking. because it was too much. seriously.
and last week saja lah main bukak my bro's lappy and i found that he has the movie, so aku transfer lah. OMFG people. i keep tekan je the space bar to pause it because it is TOO MUCH and then i cried because i was so hung up okay. but bravo to all the casts. i love each and single one of you, ESPECIALLY DYLAN. hahaha
let's cakap topik lain. hrmm about Paris and how stupid most of the adults are. like seriously. how can teenagers with a fan accounts are more aware than the adults? i don't even fucking know. and they say that they should put Islam to blame? are you fucking blind or something? terrorism have no religion! and then i read that these teenagers are naive and that the adults know better because they live longer. WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT. THE. FUCK. these teenagers spend all, if not half of their time fangirling with their fav idols okay. it's like the center of their life. why on earth does these teenagers are more aware than you guys? why can the think rationally, but you guys can't? what's wrong with your minds or even your mentality that you guys can't even see something so obvious? adults should show others good things. what makes you think by saying those things that you guys are showing something good? it's so mess up okay. please acts according to your age and stop showing your stupidity. sincerely, me. a teenager who spend most of her time obsessing over dylan but still can see through your fuck up minds.
lastly, i wanna talk about gay. honestly i am okay with gays as long as it's not islam. sebab thats so fucked up okay. aku tak kisah korang nak kata hipokrit ke pe. thats what i think about this issue and sebab this is like my diary and i can talk about anything that i want thru this and its not like there will be someone yang akan baca mende ni. i dont think so. and kalau ada, i am soooo sorry kalau kau kata aku ni pelik or some sort. everybody deserved to love and to be loved. whats wrong with that? tak kisah lah kalau dia minat gender dia sendiri ke pe. and aku ni memang minat sangat tengok youtube and bila tengok gay youtubers, i think nothing wrong with them, just they like their own gender. duh. thats all, what define you is your personality okay. tak kisah lah pasal genders bagai. and pasal apa aku kata aku tak kisah janji bukan islam, sebab as a muslim, we have our guidance okay. we have the quran. and as far as i know, kalau kita berpegang dekat quran, kita takkan terpesong jauh. i mean, maybe ada bengkang bengkok sikit, terlajak sikit, tapi banyak yang lurus kut. macam masa kita lukis graf lah. its not like we can cross every dots from the experiment. means, ada lah lagha dia, like girls, tak tutup aurat perfectly and stuffs. not everybody is perfect, but we try to be better. back to the main topic, aku tak tahu apa'2 about other religions, so apa hak aku nak benci pilihan hidup penganut agama'2 lain? aku memang takde courage nak belajar other religions, sebab takut iman tak kuat. so, ada paham? tapi takde lah aku terus like nak membenci the muslims yang gays. if memnag depa tu buta agama acanor? kena tengok situasi jugak lah. tapi aku ada baca lah things yang memang selalu lah. being gay is not a choice, being homophobic is. urgh sorry sunshine, but everything that we do in our lives are based on the choices that we made. so no. you have a choice in being gay and you have a choice in hating it. aku harap tak ada lah yang terasa. maybe otak aku ni dah kootor sangat kut sampai pikir macam ni. idek.
i guess thats all kut. dah tak tahu nak cakap apa lagi. heee.
keep calm and love dylan o'brien
okay lama gila tak merepek kat sini. memang diabaikan kut blog kesayangan aku ni. muahahaha. don't wory, I love you, babyyyyy.
okayyyy...
sekarang tengah cuti sem lagi, so memang aku spend all my time with ma phone, lappy, and tempat beradu aku. ahahaha. no one can make me change my mind.
and of course lah kerja aku duk ber fanfiction and ao3. now, on my way to write a fanfic about sterek. say whatttt??!!! say yeah! but still,.. 300 words ++ only. doesn't get the idea to continue this. idea, come to mama babyyyy.
and also spend my time scrolling the tumblr, ig and twitter about my fav casts! teen wolf casts! ehem dylan. ehem my love. ehem ma baby. ehhhh. everyone yang pernah kenal dengan creature bernama nad ni comfirm tahu yang aku ni memang obses gilaaaaaaaa dengan DYLAN O'BRIEN. I LOVE THAT DORK SO MUCH! seriously. I know that he has a girlfriend. hello! britt is one of my fav actress ok. she's so cool and very carefree. and takde nak canang'2 about their relationship. i ship them with all the ships that can be ship. muahahaha.
speaking about dylan ehem. eyes full of hearts. masa aku tengok tst with one of ma bebis, memang aku tak boleh control ma emotions because suddenly dia ada dekat the big screen where i always watch him thru my tiny laptop screen. and when i can see his upturn nose, his cupid bow lips, his freckles, his moles, and his stupidly attractive eyes.did you know what that do to me. countless damage okay. and the movie is so fucking great that idek dude. i am so hung up with the storyline and me being a fangirl is not helping. at all. urghh. and i was shaking masa aku keluar from the theater like literally and physically shaking. because it was too much. seriously.
and last week saja lah main bukak my bro's lappy and i found that he has the movie, so aku transfer lah. OMFG people. i keep tekan je the space bar to pause it because it is TOO MUCH and then i cried because i was so hung up okay. but bravo to all the casts. i love each and single one of you, ESPECIALLY DYLAN. hahaha
let's cakap topik lain. hrmm about Paris and how stupid most of the adults are. like seriously. how can teenagers with a fan accounts are more aware than the adults? i don't even fucking know. and they say that they should put Islam to blame? are you fucking blind or something? terrorism have no religion! and then i read that these teenagers are naive and that the adults know better because they live longer. WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT. THE. FUCK. these teenagers spend all, if not half of their time fangirling with their fav idols okay. it's like the center of their life. why on earth does these teenagers are more aware than you guys? why can the think rationally, but you guys can't? what's wrong with your minds or even your mentality that you guys can't even see something so obvious? adults should show others good things. what makes you think by saying those things that you guys are showing something good? it's so mess up okay. please acts according to your age and stop showing your stupidity. sincerely, me. a teenager who spend most of her time obsessing over dylan but still can see through your fuck up minds.
lastly, i wanna talk about gay. honestly i am okay with gays as long as it's not islam. sebab thats so fucked up okay. aku tak kisah korang nak kata hipokrit ke pe. thats what i think about this issue and sebab this is like my diary and i can talk about anything that i want thru this and its not like there will be someone yang akan baca mende ni. i dont think so. and kalau ada, i am soooo sorry kalau kau kata aku ni pelik or some sort. everybody deserved to love and to be loved. whats wrong with that? tak kisah lah kalau dia minat gender dia sendiri ke pe. and aku ni memang minat sangat tengok youtube and bila tengok gay youtubers, i think nothing wrong with them, just they like their own gender. duh. thats all, what define you is your personality okay. tak kisah lah pasal genders bagai. and pasal apa aku kata aku tak kisah janji bukan islam, sebab as a muslim, we have our guidance okay. we have the quran. and as far as i know, kalau kita berpegang dekat quran, kita takkan terpesong jauh. i mean, maybe ada bengkang bengkok sikit, terlajak sikit, tapi banyak yang lurus kut. macam masa kita lukis graf lah. its not like we can cross every dots from the experiment. means, ada lah lagha dia, like girls, tak tutup aurat perfectly and stuffs. not everybody is perfect, but we try to be better. back to the main topic, aku tak tahu apa'2 about other religions, so apa hak aku nak benci pilihan hidup penganut agama'2 lain? aku memang takde courage nak belajar other religions, sebab takut iman tak kuat. so, ada paham? tapi takde lah aku terus like nak membenci the muslims yang gays. if memnag depa tu buta agama acanor? kena tengok situasi jugak lah. tapi aku ada baca lah things yang memang selalu lah. being gay is not a choice, being homophobic is. urgh sorry sunshine, but everything that we do in our lives are based on the choices that we made. so no. you have a choice in being gay and you have a choice in hating it. aku harap tak ada lah yang terasa. maybe otak aku ni dah kootor sangat kut sampai pikir macam ni. idek.
i guess thats all kut. dah tak tahu nak cakap apa lagi. heee.
keep calm and love dylan o'brien
Friday, September 11, 2015
what to expect if you wanna watch The Maze Runner ; The Scorch Trials? gdshgsjsfbasfba,nfanfasbfjasbfasjbfajbfasfwfwqlfqwlfqjwfjwdjkdjskkahkqwhdkqhihiqwhroqhfevcegyegfbssfdyqwfgbdhsayyiydfscxsgfeyrcvgeuhsascshcleafacnwafklfjiehnvdjdjfbadgjfbdbcfcgaedgsahcjhegfiefhcadhedhvhcdacxbchdvbxvfbwvdywfdxdjsdkgjlialjaSLDWKSCNXSGDWFDhfjcdjksbxsgdzxqlDCNLEHCSVTETUWFGCB ADHSFHDW SUCBEWTFSDSFBEWDHCXGFWIwfclscgfk
THIS! BECAUSE IT WAS MIND-BLOWN YOU GUYS SHOULD WATCH IT AND ENJOY IT AND ENJOYYYYYYY IT. SERIOUSRLY THERES NO WORD TO DESCRIBE IT!
THIS! BECAUSE IT WAS MIND-BLOWN YOU GUYS SHOULD WATCH IT AND ENJOY IT AND ENJOYYYYYYY IT. SERIOUSRLY THERES NO WORD TO DESCRIBE IT!
Monday, August 24, 2015
its been a long time since i wrote something here. living as a student has been a life-changing experience for me. its hard at first but i am trying my best to get use to it.
ive got elc for today's class and my lira 3 is 'make a difference' and that video totally make me realized a certain things.
my mom once told me before that after my dad died, my brother had been acting different because lets face it, as an 8 y/o girl, what the hell did i know about dying? but my brother was old enough to understand it and the fact that our dad is gone totally hit him. he was a bright and still is. but at that time,hes like building a wall around himself.
im not afraid to admit that ive never had the kind of relationship that others have with their siblings with him. i used to be afraid of him, like literally afraid of him. he scared the living crap out of me. and i only met him a couple of times only since he was living in the hostel for years.
but after spm, you can totally see the difference, that he started to open up. starts to give a shit about us, his siblings. it does make me feel happy because for the first time, i was like 'oh, this is what it felt like to have a caring big bro,' and the fact that i have those thoughts in my head makes me cry for a while. because thats my life, thats the life ive been living. and the fact that he cared and he started t joke around with me, that makes me fucking happy. the little things that he done makes me feel warm deep inside.
the reason that i can relates with the 'make a difference' vid is that ive keep imagining my bro when i understands the vid. he has come a long way to become what he is today. and im really grateful for it.
ive got elc for today's class and my lira 3 is 'make a difference' and that video totally make me realized a certain things.
my mom once told me before that after my dad died, my brother had been acting different because lets face it, as an 8 y/o girl, what the hell did i know about dying? but my brother was old enough to understand it and the fact that our dad is gone totally hit him. he was a bright and still is. but at that time,hes like building a wall around himself.
im not afraid to admit that ive never had the kind of relationship that others have with their siblings with him. i used to be afraid of him, like literally afraid of him. he scared the living crap out of me. and i only met him a couple of times only since he was living in the hostel for years.
but after spm, you can totally see the difference, that he started to open up. starts to give a shit about us, his siblings. it does make me feel happy because for the first time, i was like 'oh, this is what it felt like to have a caring big bro,' and the fact that i have those thoughts in my head makes me cry for a while. because thats my life, thats the life ive been living. and the fact that he cared and he started t joke around with me, that makes me fucking happy. the little things that he done makes me feel warm deep inside.
the reason that i can relates with the 'make a difference' vid is that ive keep imagining my bro when i understands the vid. he has come a long way to become what he is today. and im really grateful for it.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Assalamualaikum wbt
Its been a fcking long time, aite?
Huhhh. Lamanya tak tulis blog ni.
Result SPM pun dah lepas and aku pun tercampak ke Penang. Ye, Penang. Utara beb!
Dapat masuk UiTM. Mula-mula refused nak pergi tapi.. all of my closest friends decided that they wanna further their studies. Tak nak aku stay dekat rumah je bila kawan-kawan aku duk teroka tempat lain. So, here I am.
Student UiTM PP in Diploma Electrical Engineering (Electronic)
Budak EE or dekat sini diorang panggil ELE.
Memang aku duk kat sini, refuse nak cakap Utara, I mean ,... I am a proud Selangorian okey! I'm proud with Merah Kuning!
Bila jumpa member Selangor KL memang huha lah. Cakap takde slang utara timur selatan barat segala. Even depa cakap keyell pun aku happy tau dapat gather dengan budak-budak sama slang. Pelik ke?
Serious kalau korang stay sini pun korang pelik dengan diorang sebab tak biasa kut dengar orang cakap utara, tiba-tiba... ha! ambik kau! Ternganga je mula-mula tu.
Tapi Alhamdulillah lah dapat adapt jugak dengan environment dekat sini. Dapat kenal dengan new friends and abang senior yang agak sporting lah. Serious kut dia pergi seru nama aku tengah jalan tu ha. Memang aku sengih je lah sebab masa MDS haritu abang-abang tu yang duk teman, sembang-sembang, buat lawak. One of the memories yang susah nak forget kut.
But, I will try my best lah. Inysa-Allah.
Do pray for me.
Its been a fcking long time, aite?
Huhhh. Lamanya tak tulis blog ni.
Result SPM pun dah lepas and aku pun tercampak ke Penang. Ye, Penang. Utara beb!
Dapat masuk UiTM. Mula-mula refused nak pergi tapi.. all of my closest friends decided that they wanna further their studies. Tak nak aku stay dekat rumah je bila kawan-kawan aku duk teroka tempat lain. So, here I am.
Student UiTM PP in Diploma Electrical Engineering (Electronic)
Budak EE or dekat sini diorang panggil ELE.
Memang aku duk kat sini, refuse nak cakap Utara, I mean ,... I am a proud Selangorian okey! I'm proud with Merah Kuning!
Bila jumpa member Selangor KL memang huha lah. Cakap takde slang utara timur selatan barat segala. Even depa cakap keyell pun aku happy tau dapat gather dengan budak-budak sama slang. Pelik ke?
Serious kalau korang stay sini pun korang pelik dengan diorang sebab tak biasa kut dengar orang cakap utara, tiba-tiba... ha! ambik kau! Ternganga je mula-mula tu.
Tapi Alhamdulillah lah dapat adapt jugak dengan environment dekat sini. Dapat kenal dengan new friends and abang senior yang agak sporting lah. Serious kut dia pergi seru nama aku tengah jalan tu ha. Memang aku sengih je lah sebab masa MDS haritu abang-abang tu yang duk teman, sembang-sembang, buat lawak. One of the memories yang susah nak forget kut.
But, I will try my best lah. Inysa-Allah.
Do pray for me.
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